


Missing Memories and Missing You (How the Light Gets In Remix)

by MiniRaven



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dollhouse Fusion, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Dollhouse AU, Established Relationship, Fic Related Spoilers, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, POV Tony Stark, Spoilers, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Feels, fake memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 10:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13785234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniRaven/pseuds/MiniRaven
Summary: Dollhouse Fusion AU.Steve and Tony escaped the Dollhouse with the help of some new friends. While Tony is filing the paperwork to come back from the dead, he's still trying understand the whole experience. His memory and personality were wiped for almost four years. He was forced to work as Tony Carbonelli, a neuro programmer and glorified zombie, at the behest of his godfather so that pig could take over the company. And, apparently, Tony had fall in love.Except he has no memory of any of this. He doesn't know who any of these people are, if he can trust him, or who he was romantically engaged with. But by the way Steve looks at him; sad smiles, longing glances, Tony is sure Steve knows exactly what happened.





	Missing Memories and Missing You (How the Light Gets In Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Robin_tCJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_tCJ/gifts).
  * Inspired by [How the Light Gets In](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9547676) by [Robin_tCJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_tCJ/pseuds/Robin_tCJ). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Robin_tCJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_tCJ/pseuds/Robin_tCJ) in the [Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2018](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2018) collection. 



> I remember reading this fic a few months ago. It was so good I couldn't get the concept out of my head. It was way too good and way too much effort was put into it just to fill a bingo square.
> 
> Then remix came along and this was the one I gravitated to more than anything else. I wish I had time to make a longer contribution because the original is so good. Please, go read the original if you have time. It's so good and deserves more recognition than it already has.
> 
> Thanks got to fox for the beta.

 Tony let out a heavy sigh. “Who knew coming back from the dead would involve so much paperwork,” he said, tossing a manila envelope onto the floor.

In the kitchen, Steve chuckled. “Give yourself a break, Tony. You’re getting your family’s company back. That’s got to require a lot of paperwork.”

“I guess. I just didn’t expect it to be this much,” Tony said, looking around the living room. The small two-bedroom apartment wasn’t much to look at. Granted, it was a safe house, but still. No sofa. No TV.  Not even a nightstand with a Bible hidden away in one of the drawers. There was a dining table and a set of chairs in the living room. At the moment, it was covered in law books and micaceous paper. Documents of various importance covered every inch of the carpeted floor. If someone opened the door or turned on a fan, the entire room would become a tornado of chaos and flying papers.

Steve walked out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs in hand. He smiled the moment he caught Tony’s eye. “Brought you something to keep you going.”

Tony didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed the cup with greedy hands. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting the heavenly scent fill his nose. Oh, wait. Why didn’t it smell like coffee? “Tea?” asked Tony, looking indignantly into the clear brown water.

“Just try it,” insisted Steve. “It’s easier on the stomach than coffee and it still has caffeine in it. Thought it would be better for you since it doesn’t look like you’ll be going to bed any time soon.”

“What do you mean bed soon… Wait. What time is it?” Tony looked out the window. The afternoon sun was gone. Bright stars lit up the night sky. The sound of cars racing down the highway had diminished to a whisper. Coulson’s snores from the other room rattled the mostly empty bottles of beer on the kitchen island.

Steve looked at the clock on the wall. “Little after one?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Tony ran a hand through his hair. It was starting to feel greasy and gross. He looked down at the disarray of documents. There was so much to get done by morning and he wasn’t even close to finishing. His eyes hurt from reading and his brain felt like mush. But he had to keep going. “Sorry I’m keeping you up, Steve. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll join you when I’m done.”

The corner of Steve’s lips curled up. He looked at Tony with the softest, bluest eyes Tony had ever seen. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“No, it’s not _fine_. Sleep is important,” Tony said, waving away Steve’s courtesy. “Look, I know you’re worried about my mind getting wiped again; lord knows what tricks Obie’s got up his sleeve, but I’ll be fine on my own. You don’t have to keep me company every second of the day."

The smile disappeared from Steve’s face. “Oh, sorry. I just thought you’d like some company. I didn’t mean to get in your way.”

“No! God, no. It’s just- I’m really busy and I don’t want you to feel obligated to stick around after everything that’s happened. You’ve been trapped in the Dollhouse for, what, a year? Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m good. I like spending time with you,” Steve said in a voice so soft Tony wanted to wrap himself up in it like a blanket.

All of a sudden, Tony started having trouble breathing. He felt his heart flutter in his chest. Tony wanted to take Steve’s warm hands in his. He wanted Steve to wrap his arms around him for real. He wanted to feel warm. Tony wanted to be close to Steve and he had no idea why.

His body had been doing that a lot lately, feeling things for people he had only just met. But Steve was different and it bothered him. Like a twitch in his leg that he just couldn’t shake off. Tony needed Steve like he needed air to breathe. Not that it was a bad thing. Steve was very attractive. His blue eyes were mesmerizing, his smile, absolutely dazzling. The very firm muscles under a too tight shirt were an instant plus. But there was something more to him. This wasn’t just lust. Tony’s interest in Steve went beyond skin deep, and that bothered him.

“Steve, why don’t you have a seat,” said Tony because enough was enough. It was time to get to the bottom of things.

“What is it? Did I do something wrong?”

“No! Never. It’s just… How do I put this?” Tony steepled his hands in front of his face. “It’s early in the morning. I’m tired and my verbal filter is pretty much nonexistent. But nobody is around to judge us, so I’m just going to come out and say it; how did we meet?”

Steve cocked his head to the side. “Weren’t you listening when Coulson filled you in? He told you everything we know about the Dollhouse, about your injury, about what Director Stane did to you.”

“No, I was listening. It’s just… Coulson seems like a very pragmatic kind of guy. None of the fluff, all of the facts. And that’s good considering I’ve been, in essence, dead for years and need to catch up really quick. But I feel like some of the important details are missing. Does that make sense? Like, why is it that I trust people who I’ve never met and the only person I feel safe with is you? How is it that I feel like I’ve known you all my life and yet I’ve never met you? How do we know each other? How did we meet?”

For a second, Steve look stunned. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He tried saying something, stuttering over ‘ah’s and ‘well’s, but nothing seemed to work.

Finally, Steve looked down at the mug in his hands and let out a heavy sigh. “We didn’t really ‘meet.’ At least, not in the traditional sense. I was a doll in the Dollhouse. My memories and personality were erased from my brain, digitized, and saved onto a wedge. I was pretty much a blank slate and you were the genius scientist looking down from your ivory tower. The extent of our interactions should have been limited to treatments. Before an encounter, you or Fury would call me up, I’d visit you, and you’d give me a new personality that met the request of a client.

“But you weren’t content with that. You saw my brain map, thought it was interesting, and called me upstairs so you could analyze and understand me better. You didn’t find what you wanted, so you kept calling me up and it just grew from there.”

“So, what? We’re friends?”

“I guess you could say that,” said Steve. But the sadness in Steve’s eyes told Tony there was something he was hiding.

“Were we lovers?”

Steve’s ears immediately turned bright red. He squirmed in his seat and his eyes shot around the room looking at anything but Tony. “You just got your memories back. I’m not sure if I should say-”

“Steve, you were holding my hand when I woke up. You held onto it until Coulson brought us to this safe house. The only reason you let go was because I noticed it. Whatever happened, whatever you’re trying to say, I can take it. I want to know.”

Steve pursed his lips. His hands gripped the mug until his knuckles turned white. “I guess, you could say that. Yeah, we were lovers. We never said anything to make it official, but I loved you. And you loved me. That’s all there was to it.”

“Why didn’t you make it official?”

“Too busy taking care of other things. In case you didn’t notice, we are trying to take down a multibillion dollar company,” said Steve, a bit of humor returning to his voice.

“Do you still love him?” asked Tony.

Steve let out a wistful sigh. “I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. And, believe me, we both tried.”

Tony looked down at his mug. He rolled it around and let the tea slosh up against the rim of the cup. It was getting cold. “Sorry that I took his place.”

“Don’t be,” said Steve. "You didn’t decide to end up in the Dollhouse and you didn’t deserve to disappear there.”

“But he doesn’t deserve to disappear either,” said Tony. He was glad to be back. Absolutely thrilled that the others had thought he was important enough to bring back. But at the expense of someone else, especially a loved one? Tony didn’t feel he deserved that opportunity. “Do you miss him? The other me?”

“Yeah,” said Steve, his voice thick with emotions too complex to be limited to a single word. “A little bit.”

Tony nodded. “Is it weird to say that I’m a little jealous of him?”

“Don’t be,” said Steve. There was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “I fell in love with your heart. Not a program. It’s just going to take a bit for us to relearn each other. That’s all. You guys are similar like that. Your brains, your humor, your heart, none of that has changed.”

“Still, it feels like I’m losing a competition against myself. Like I should bring him back just to ask him where to begin. Grab him by the lapels and say, ‘Do I take Steve out to a fancy restaurant or a tiny hole in the wall? Is he allergic to anything? Does he like long walks on the beach? Ten-foot bunnies? Tell me, other Tony. Tell me!””

Steve snorted, but quickly covered it up with the back of his hand.

“Hey, you laughed. Never heard you laugh before.”

“I’ve laughed before. You’ve just never heard it because we’ve been busy.”

“Nope,” Tony said, popping the word with a smug smile. “Calling it now. Today’s the first day I’ve ever made you laugh.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “So, what? You going after all my firsts now?”

“Well, seems like a good place to start,” Tony said, leaning closer to Steve until they were only inches apart. “Speaking of firsts, it sounds like he never took you out on a first date. How about it, champ? Up for popping your first date cherry with me?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. And this time, it’s a real smile. “I’d really like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Please PLEASE check out the original! Robin_tCJ worked so hard on it.


End file.
